Halloween

Last night was Halloween, and I had to work.

You know how they say the crazies come out on Halloween?

Yeah, well, my crazies came out in the form of elderly dementia patients who [somehow] gained super strength.

Patient #1- despite being so sick and weak that we have to turn him to prevent bedsores, he managed to pull out ALL of his lines (IV, catheter, wound vac, and gown..he was naked as a jay bird) and then get a death grip on my hand while I was trying to hook him back up. I had to push the call light and literally scream for help.

Luckily, 5 of my favorite co-workers rescued me and were able to pry him off of me. The parting gift he left me with are some lovely fingernail marks cut into my hand. I know, it was so sweet of him to leave me with a reminder of our time together :)

In hindsight, I should have found some nail clippers and gone to town on his claws nails. Just sayin'.

Crazy Patient #2- weak and contracted from an old stroke, whose body was shot but her mind wasn't. This little lady was horribly confused and forgetful during the day. At night she was even worse (yay for sundowners!). When I went into her room to give her evening meds, she decided she hated me...

The voice that suddenly possessed her seemed soooo familiar...in a bad way.

Have you ever seen "the Exorcist"?

Do you remember the low, rumbly voice of the demon in Regan after she was possessed?

That's the voice that suddenly took over this little lady and exploded profanities and called me every name in the book, along with some pretty hefty insults.

Add that to her swatting at me and trying to kick me, and we had a fun moment!  Not  ;)                                          

Now, in all seriousness, she was not nearly as bad as the little guy next door.

All I had to do for her was leave the room, wait 15 minutes and go back in. By that time she had forgotten that she hated me, was perfectly calm and polite and took her medicine. Yay for a happy ending!
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I don't normally dress up for Halloween, but I've always wanted to dress as a nurse from Silent Hill. Like this, but a little more creepy and a little less sexy:

picture from here

I jokingly told my husband I was going to dress like that for work....Now I kinda wished I had! I might have scared my patients into being good....kidding!

sorta...

To continue with the gore...

What is it with people neglecting themselves lately? Mental illness is a powerful thing. We had a 50ish year old man tonight who was admitted with a severe infection in his leg. Not just a part of his leg...his whole leg. He had had surgery on his knee roughly six months ago and had been wearing a walking boot type device....sounds reasonable, right?

He never took the flipping boot off.

Like, ever...for six months...

So the zipper on the boot grew into his leg.

Can you see where this is going?

His entire leg (foot to hip) was horribly infected. It essentially was rotting away with gangrene. If you've never smelled gangrene before...well, just be glad because it is not pleasant. This poor guy's leg turned into a flipping zombie leg, with chunks of raw flesh literally falling off while we were trying to care for him.

How did it get this bad, you ask? We don't really know, and neither did he.

Denial. Not wanting to admit there was a problem. Not wanting to admit that his own self neglect caused it. Truly unbelievable, but oh so true.

Since it is almost Halloween...

I feel like we should start with some gory stories. Sound good? Ok!

A few months ago I took care of a woman who had hidden advanced breast cancer from her husband and family for months...

Yes, there were some mental health issues there. No, she had not seen a doctor in years...

So anyway, her cancer was growing outward, where you could look at her skin and definitely say, yeah...something's not quite right here...kinda like this:

picture from here

                                                          but on her breast....Yum! Kidding! 
It was gross (to say the least) and I felt so horrible for this poor woman and the physical and mental pain she was experiencing. The whole situation was mind boggling. I felt even worse for her husband, who was completely in shock by all of it. I hope that she and her family have found peace for the future.

My patients/My patience

Hospital patients have a way of testing your patience. I realize they're sick but sometimes they're just sooo needy... Now, I have been described as the "the nicest person you'll ever meet". But when you're setting an alarm clock on your phone to wake you up to demand ask for pain medicine...um, yeah...that's pushing it a little bit. 

Whatever happened to the days where patients used to listen to nurses and doctors and trust their every word like they were gods? I miss the days of "Yes ma'am" and "Whatever you say, sir". 

Doesn't this look like a much nicer scene?

picture from here

Ha! If only ;)

About the craziness

Where to start...first off, let me tell you a little about myself. I am a med-surg nurse in a small hospital in the Mid-West. My stories can be funny, sad or downright disgusting, but always entertaining and a little crazy. Sit down and stay a while!